Employee pretends to be friendly with coworker for months only to extract important information about the workplace: 'The friendship part might have been real at first, but somewhere along the way it started feeling more like a project to him'

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  • a man and a woman sitting at a table with a laptop talking to each other
  • My coworker pretended to be my friend for months and I finally found out why

    When I started at my current job, one coworker immediately took me under his wing. We'd eat lunch together, he'd invite me to grab coffee, ask about my weekend, remember little details about my life. Honestly, it
  • was nice because I'm not the most social person and making friends at work has never come naturally to me.
  • Over the next few months he became the person I talked to the most in the office. If there was office gossip, he'd know it. If I was frustrated about something, I'd vent to him. I genuinely thought we'd stay friends even if one of
  • us left the company someday. A few weeks ago I accidentally overheard a conversation between him and another coworker. They didn't know I was nearby. The other guy
  • joked that my coworker must be upset because "his source is getting promoted." My coworker laughed and said something like, "Yeah, now I'll have to start all over with someone else."
  • Turns out he'd been using me as an information source the entire time. Because I worked closely with another department, I'd often hear about upcoming changes before most people. Nothing confidential, just stuff that
  • man in blue denim jacket sitting besides woman with mug
  • naturally came up in meetings. He'd ask innocent questions, I'd answer without thinking, and he'd pass information around like he had special connections.
  • What really got me wasn't that he wanted information. It was realizing how many conversations suddenly made sense. All those check-ins, random coffee breaks, questions that seemed casual at the time.
  • The friendship part might have been real at first, but somewhere along the way it started feeling more like a project to him. Now he's acting exactly the same as always and has no idea that I know. I
  • haven't confronted him because honestly I don't know what the point would be. But it's weird sitting across from someone every day when your entire view of them changed in about 30 seconds.
  • Maybe I'm overreacting, but finding out someone values your access more than your company kinda sks.
  • man with a hat smoking a pipe looking mysterious

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